Friday, 17th July 2009
Doctors and Scientists Stumped By Unidentified Disease.

Vanessa Ang Qianwen

Singapore- Chee Kor Pek*, 22, was reported to be suffering from an unidentified disease associated with the male genital.

Chee, a student of the National University of Singapore (NUS), was admitted to the hospital after passing out in the toilet early this morning. A distressed Mrs. Chee Bai Bai*, mother of Chee Kor Pek, has informed reporters of the Vanessa's Times that Chee has been complaining incessantly about pains in his genital area since last Friday after returning from his hostel, Prince George's Park Residence (PGPR).

Doctors have revealed that Chee has been diagnosed with a rare genital disease that has left scientists and doctors alike perplexed.

"This is the very first time that we (the doctors and scientists) have come across such a bizarre illness and we are still trying our very best to save Chee's genital.", reported Dr. Jekyll.

Despite the doctor's refusal to disclose further information regarding Chee's condition to the Vanessa's Times, an anonymous informant has leaked the exact symptoms of Chee's peculiar illness.

Evidently, it was revealed that Chee's scrotum had gradually turned to shades of nasty purple since last Friday. Chee's fainting episode in the toilet before being admitted to the hospital was due to utter shock when Chee removed his pants and saw that his testicles have dropped off completely.

Doctors are hopeful that they will be able to identify the root of Chee's problem in order to discover a cure for it.


*Names are entirely fabricated. If you happen to share the same name as the above mentioned, it is completely coincidental and that your parents must have either been fools or do not understand Hokkien or Teochew or local vulgarities.


Hahahaha!! The root to Chee's problems are due to the fact that he stole my clothes. I HOPE that I will be able to see an article such as this on the newspaper one day and I shall know who my jerkass-no-money-to-buy-bra-cum-clothes thief is.

Ok. Is not good to curse people actually. Maybe shall be a good Catholic and practice forgiving and forgetting. BUT I CAN'T DO IT EVERY TIME I THINK ABOUT MY BAO BEI HALTER TOP!!! FUCKERS!!!

I've already put up notices at the laundry room and in the lifts appealing for those who know of my clothes' whereabouts to contact me, but to no avail. Sigh. I guess they're as good as gone.